We’ve renamed Delhi: Smelly. Sorry if this offends anyone, but I’ve never been in a more odoriferous city in my life. I grew up in a place called Lubbock, Texas. The cattle yards were strategically placed east of town and on the rare occasion when the wind changes direction... you probably get the picture. Well my friends, Lubbock on a bad wind day smells like Chanel Number 5 compared to daily Delhi.

Smelly was on our itinerary for two reasons: A. It’s was our jumping off point to Malaysia and B. we wanted to go to the Taj Mahal in Agra. There are some really beautiful places here, but I think after almost a year I'd turned my India switch off. We didn’t take a lot of pictures because every time you stop to take a shot ten people try to hustle you. I find that it’s harder for them to hit a running target. Also, my perseverance software had long since been corrupted so I spent a lot of time blissfully staring at BBC News.

Our few escapades in Smelly included the beautiful Qutb Minar, a towering mosque that is also one of the most prominent examples of Muslim architecture in the world (I found the Star of David of particular interest), and the Red Fort, a really reeeeally huge…red fort. We also spent one afternoon getting lost in the alleyways of Old Delhi. The tornado of hawks in the last frame below occurs when the muslims from a particular mosque on the border of Old delhi and New Delhi cut up mutton and toss the scraps into the sky...a very Hitchcockian scene that replays around 2pm everyday.

And ya' just can’t leave India without the manditory visit to the Taj Mahal. I mean, it's the number one tourist attraction on the planet, we had to go just to see why. Another train, another rickshaw, a lot more touts, bad food...let's just say we've also changed the name of Agra to Aggro. The whole Taj complex was amazing and when you got close the detail was phenominal, but we were just worn out. In other words, we went , we saw, and then we returned to Smelly and our beloved BBC News.

In retrospect, we've found that the best experiences in India are those that we've stumble into. And I know at times I've been a bit hard on India, but she's been hard on me too. In spite of everything though, I do love the place and I'll miss our dysfunctional relationship.

Our next stop is Pulao Tioman, a little tiny island off the east coast of Malaysia. It’s the one that was depicted as Bali Hai in the movie South Pacific and listed by many of the major travels rags as one of the top 10 most beautiful islands in the world. We’re actually here now and I’m still going through too much happy shock to describe its beauty. Now I must excuse myself to go snorkeling with all the little tropical fishies who live in the breathtaking reef that's in the crystal clear water that’s right outside the front door of our little beach bungalow.

PMB May 5.07