vangvieng

"Dude, like we went to this place called Vangvieng and got so wasted. I mean, like I was drunk for 5 days. Every day we rented inner tubes and floated down this river that is totally lined, like totally, with bars. Like, I don't remember anything. I have these bruises, but dude, I don't even remember how I got them...hahahaha." - verbatum from a conversation overheard at a coffee house in Ventiane.

In 2003 Vangvieng was nothing more than another lovely little Lao hamlet the buses stopped in for food and toilet breaks while on the road to Luang Prabang. Nowadays the conversation above typifies the highest intellectual and cultural exchange one can find there. The bars on the river get packed starting around 10am while the village lies dead except for the echoes of endless televisions blasting reruns of Friends as the booze saturated and weary lick the wounds of their unremembered conquests. Yes, I said Friends. and I do not exaggerate, it is everywhere and it is extremely creepy. I think Vangvieng scores pretty highly in The Lonely Planet Dipsomaniacs Gap Year Guide To South East Asia. I have never felt older or smarter in my life.

The flip-side of Vangvieng is a beautiful river that winds a labyrinth between limestone mountains that shoot up from the Lao jungle floor. Since its reputation is legendary, Helen and I had the foresight to book a hut in the Vangvieng Ecolodge located about 7km up the river from the shenanigans. A quiet little place situated in a small village right on the river bend, it was also the starting point for down river tours. In the morning, we'd roll out of bed, throw down some breakfast then jump into kayaks. The meandering waterway was very soothing until we got about 2km from town and the throbbing disco beat would begin to permeate the serenity like a virus. I will admit that once in the bar section of the river we were entertained by drunken women loosing their senses and bikini tops as they slammed into the water, belly first, after tumbling from high diving decks, swings, zip lines, and even a long sloping take-off that resembled an olympic ski jump. The first picture below is a view from our hut.

I had been a bit under the weather for a few weeks by now. At first the doctors at the Australina Embassy Clinic thought I may have Dengue Fever, then classified it as an "unknown virus." Great, I was set to be Victim 1 of the disease that would knock out all of mankind... not exactly a comforting thought. After several days without food and not being able to keep water down I finally started coming around. Feeling like we were on the set of a National Lampoon movie I came to the conclusion that Vangvieng was not a place to convalesce. We shifted our sites north to Luang Prabang, a UNESCO World Heritage Centre. Since there was absolutely nothing left in my system I felt sure I could endure the 6 hour bus ride.....